We had a death in the family Saturday. Never a good thing no matter when or to whom it happens, or what family is left behind to grieve. And this one was no different in that respect. I’ve been thinking every time we’ve returned home that I should come here and “talk” about it, but I haven’t because I haven’t known what to say. I still don’t.
I’m so sad, hurting though I’m not exactly sure where the pain is coming from. The man who died was a peaceful, pleasant person who saw his 93rd year before he left this earth. All who knew him loved him and that feeling was mutual. And he loved babies and dogs. Nobody who loves babies and dogs could ever be a bad person….at least not in my book.
Family who hadn’t been together for 20 years was reunited, happily so, and surprisingly so. Even though the loss was great, the loss wasn’t total. All the new babies were loved and passed around. If not for this gathering how old would those babies have been before getting that love from so many hearts, even if they’re too young to remember all those hands that held them or all the kisses bestowed upon them in the past week? All the children got to experience the adults in new forms as they age and change with Time’s march. All the adults got a chance to rebond over new interests, ailments and cares. Everyone got a chance to cry without shame, hold, hug and kiss whomever they cared to, and not have to “be” anything they weren’t capable of being in the moment. Everyone who came together got to show their love for the deceased, to feel the pain of loss, and, for some, to realize just how much they cared but never realized it before.
And this family is like so many other blended families of this era. Parts have split, new marriages, deaths, divorce, and births have changed the face of this family. But this family is luckier than most because all the parts have healed and all the pieces put back together have meshed into a cohesive unit that functions well together. Sometimes it surprises me how well we all “work” considering all the fractures that have rebonded. Ernest Hemingway said in The Sun Also Rises: “The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry”.
And, of course, there’s a sick dog in the story. It wouldn’t be one of my stories without one, would it? We brought her home with us to doctor. She’s lost her daddy and is ailing, and we have such a wonderful veterinarian that we wanted to give her a chance to heal physically even while she is grieving the loss of her owner. And perhaps it will give those still grieving a rest from caring for her in her illness, too. We couldn’t walk away from her without trying to save her, too. And maybe she’ll help our hearts heal, too. Next time I’ll post about Jolie.