Rest in Peace, Dusty Man

Every morning of his 11 year life Dusty was up when I got up and running around the house, happy as a clam. Then he would get in my lap and sleep under the blanket until I got ready to get dressed and start my day. Yesterday morning, I got up as normal and went about my morning routine: take my pills, put Zoe out to potty, feed and medicate her, then sit in my recliner to receive the dogs as they come to say good morning. All as usual except Dusty didn’t come running into the living room for attention. I assumed he was sleeping in; the house was quiet and DH was still asleep.

But Dusty never came to say good morning. I opened the door and looked in the back yard but he wasn’t there. He didn’t answer to my calls. I started toward the garage to check there as DH responded to my query from the bedroom. He got up and went into my office/sewing room to check the dog bed, met me coming down the hall and told me to go sit down; Dusty wouldn’t be coming. What? Dusty was wrapped up in his blanket in his bed but he was no longer alive. I couldn’t believe it!. He hadn’t been sick or acting any differently the night before. He was happy and energetic and loving, the same as any other day of his life. And then he went to sleep and didn’t wake up. Unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!

We lost Bandit January 5th to a brain tumor—complete surprise out of the blue!!!! Then, Dusty left us in another complete surprise situation. As DH said, it was the best way to go if it’s your time; just go to sleep and don’t wake up. But the survivors always wish they could have said goodbye, or “I love you” one more time. I hate that the last time I felt his warmth was after his heart had stopped beating. I hate that I’ll never get to cuddle him again or have him lick my face or feel his warm body sleeping in my lap. When we took him to the vet this morning for cremation it was the last time we’d see his beautiful face, the last time we took him to the vet, and the first time he’d never come back home to us happy and excited.

We are devastated! The female canines are very quiet, as is usual when one of the pack leaves us. Dusty was our last male. He was a force to be reckoned with, a joy to be around, 5 1/2 pounds of happy optimism. He filled every room with happiness and excitement. They even loved him at his vet’s office. Loss of his big personality has left a huge hole in our lives so we won’t be normal for a while; our world has ground to a halt. All we can do is love these little girls as much as possible until we all heal inside.

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